I miss old friends, as well as places I used to haunt on the internet (where I met the majority of those friends). If any of you are reading this, know I miss you, the conversations we had, and knowing that I'd always have someone to talk to, even if it was 4 AM on a weeknight and we both had places to be in a few hours.
I sometimes miss my old life, before everything burst out of me and refused to be a secret any longer. I don't miss how it felt to keep everything inside, but I miss how easy it had become for me to just not talk about it. I miss how it was easy to be around people because I didn't feel the need to talk about everything, and I miss how easy it was to just make up a persona around strangers.
I miss the days when I didn't need to justify my bad habits with excuses like "at least I'm not drunk all the time" or "at least it's not meth".
I can't change what's already happened, but I can sure as hell take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Maybe some day I'll actually believe that.
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